The following is the ceremony that I wrote & performed this past Sunday for my very dear friends David and Adrienne. It’s the second wedding I’ve officiated, and I was honored and pleased to once again be asked to unite two friends and write the words that would bind them. Even if it continually perplexes me why anyone would trust me to tell anyone anything about love and marriage!
[March]
[Greeting]
We’ve come here today to celebrate the joining of Adrienne Dorig and David Leland. They’ve chosen to hold their wedding outdoors within a spread of all Nature has to offer. Alongside trees that may outlive our great grandchildren, and near flowers that will only bloom for a season, we can meditate on the way in which life, in all of its cycles, is ephemeral, and yet somehow constant – connected. Love is what reminds humans most fiercely of that connection, because it is in our capacity to love with we find eternity, touching into an emotion deeper, and more powerful, that we could have ever thought possible. Barriers drop, edges blur, and you find yourself forgetting where you end, and your other begins.
As light to dark, day to night, all things have an equal but opposite and together they are complete. So do two people find one another and in coming together, find the half of themselves that, prior, they might never have known they were missing. Of course, this is only the foundation, though a beautiful and rich foundation it is. Today, David and Adrienne have come together to recognize the union that has already long since happened between their hearts, and from there, to affirm their commitment to everything involved in a shared fate – the joys and burdens alike. Together, they will grow beyond limits, and they will laugh at foibles, and they will learn from mistakes, and when they fall, they will get back up together; recognizing always that though they are two people with two minds and two hearts, they are a matching set, and will ever strive to work in tandem.
They have asked all of you here today to see them off on this journey, and to share with them the incomparable moment where it began, because it is true that though they are a pair, this pair is nested within a vast network of friends and of family. We are no greater a product than the sum of those who have touched us, helped us, guided us, and supported us, and so it isn’t simply two wonderful people who are joined in this marriage, but also the families who nurtured them so that they could become quite so wonderful; two families, now come together as one. Thank you for sharing this day, this moment, and for your continued love and support as they go forward.
I will now invite Carl Sachs, a good friend of the bride and groom, to step forward and read Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116.
[Reading]
[Declarations of Love]
[Joint Vows]
[Exchange of Rings]
As an unbroken circle, rings are a symbol of undying love. May they serve as a reminder of this day on which you pledged endless love to one another.
[Sand Ceremony]
Next, Adrienne and David have decided to invite their mothers forward to participate in the Sand Ceremony with them. At its essence, this ceremony is about unity. We begin here with a single empty glass, a vessel, and two others that are full. Each piece of sand represents the multitude of moments, thoughts, decisions, plans, and feelings that have all come to shape our bride and groom. As the sand is poured from these two and into a common vessel, mingling and merging, so are they joined, their paths entwined and paved with common purpose and shared experience. As their mothers delivered them into their original vessels – screaming and crying – it is appropriate that they unite them here as well – though hopefully with less screaming and crying. Diana and Thelma would you do your children the honor of stepping forward?
[Pronunciation]
Love, understanding, and respect, these are the seeds of a happy marriage, and like any seeds, they must be cared for and nurtured so they do not wither. Today you have made a commitment to give these seeds what they need: to communicate, to forgive, to cherish, to laugh, and to learn, today and always, for the rest of your lives. Do so, and live with no regret. It is my very great honor to pronounce you David and Adrienne, man and wife, woman and husband, matching set. David, you may kiss the bride.
[Breaking of the Glass]
Finally, the ceremonial breaking of the glass.
[Conclusion]
Ladies and gentleman, allow me to present to you Mr. and Mrs. Leland



